Anata ga hitsuyou desu-Japan x Reader[Songfic]

You loved it when he smiled at you. The way a blush would paint his cheeks when you got too close or you laughed. The dedication he showed to everything he does. The way he was always concerned for you, Feliciano and Ludwig. The way he cared.

That was why you fell for him. That is why tears are rolling down your face now. That is why your heart is clenching and aching for more.

//Flashback//

'I'm going to do it today!' You thought to yourself as you smiled wistfully, staring into the distance at the cherry blossoms that flew gracefully through the air. You were at Kiku's house, sitting on his porch.

Today was the day you were going to confess to him. You couldn't hold back anymore. Seeing him everyday and having him talk about you as only a friend, it hurt. You wanted more. You needed more. You needed him.

Kiku sat next to you, enjoying the silence, as you both admired the cherry blossoms. Your hands clenched together tightly as your heart thumped against your ribcage, you turned to him. "Kiku-chan, can-can I tell you something?".

He cringed, "[name]-san, please don't call me that".

"I'm sorry," You paused as you tried to swallow the salva that was building up in your mouth. "can I tell you something?"

"Hai, go ahead [name]-san".

"I-I-Anata ga s-suki desu" Your voice got quiter as you spoke, making it hard to understand, along with the stumbling but Kiku knew exactly what it was you were trying to say. His eyes widened to the size of plates as a beetroot blush spread across his face. Kiku's body froze, unsure what to say or what to do, due to the fact he wasn't used to be confessed too.

"D-Do you like you me too?"

"[n-name]-san I....." He stopped unsure what to say, espicially now. You turned towards him to see an expression of both confusion and guilt spread across his face. "I'm sorry but I don't".

That's when your whole world came crashing down on you, your heart felt like it shattered into millions of pieces, which you were unable to fix.

//flashback end//

"W-what do you mean 'you don't'?".

"I don't like you in the way you like me".

You began to sniffle as the tears began to stream down your cheeks. Much to Kiku's suprise, you turned to him, gripping on to him tightly. "B-but I can't do this anymore. I can't just be your friend anymore".

You leaned in closer to him, much to his displeasure. "[n-name]-san, you're too close!".

You ignored your friends cry as you forced your lips against his. It was only for a second or two but you felt like you were in pure bliss as Kiku tried hard to pry you off as gentle as possible but once he realised you weren't going to let go anytime soon, he pushed with full force, knocking you off of his porch onto the ground, your head facing the floor.

"[name]-san, I think you should leave" Kiku stated in an abnormally cold tone.

You stood up quickly, "I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean too. I took it too far. I-".

"Save it, [name]" He coldly cut you off before stepping back into his house. Sliding the door shut, leaving you both stunded and heartbroken.

As you walked off into the sunset, you whispered but one thing, "Anata ga hitsuyou desu, Kiku".

淋しい気持ち ポツリ
好きな気持ち キラリ
ふたつ区別がつかない僕は
夕暮れに心つぶれてく

君を好きだけじゃものたりない
あこがれだけじゃ埋めきれない
淋しさだけが 今日もリアルで
今、会いに行ったら泣いてしまう

The feeling of loneliness...forlorn.
The feeling of love...sparkling.
As I'm unable to differentiate between these two feelings,
my heart becomes slowly crushed in the sunset.
Simply liking you won't satisfy me.
Simply admiring you won't satiate me.
Today, too, the only thing real is my loneliness.
If I go see you now, I'll surely end up crying.